Sunday, February 04, 2007

scary vampire story

I met a vampire today. A real one, apparently. He drinks about three quarts of blood a week.

Actually I've known him for the last six months. But today he revealed his secret identity to me. Somehow in the course of a normal conversation about him going to Paris when we get home to stay with some girl he knows who's a professional ballerina and one of his donors. Donors? I ask. Uh, yeah, it's a lifestyle choice that I made and I don't really talk about it much... I'm a vampire.


Yeah. Three quarts of blood a week. And yes, he calls it feeding. He has about six donors around where he lives to keep him going. Without blood he has an energy deficiency. With blood his aura grows strong enough to draw donors to him, especially while he's feeding. Sometimes they cut themselves to give him blood. One donor is a nurse that just draws it out for him. And a few have him bite them for it.

He has no pointy teethe or black cape or greasy slicked back hair.

Apparently the mythology of vampires was created for the sake of shrouding the real vampires in a cloud of ambiguous myth that would protect them from being known... and therefore being... oppressed by normal humans. Some of the experts on vampire biology think maybe they are homo sapiens' attempt to evolve further. Unfortunately they have a hard time getting funding from some of the big medical venture capital or grant places. I guess the vampire mythology thing is working almost too well for them.

I was interested to hear that only about half his donors are affiliated with the goth subculture. The other half were just attracted by his aura. Do you drink blood, by any chance? Because I'd really like you to drink some of mine.

How exactly does the first conversation go? But like he said, he just attracts him with his aura. He just looks at them intently and then he knows if they are drawn to be donors.

Oh yeah, and he has no gag reflex to the blood. Half a court every day. That's sicko. The guy seems a little bit odd from the get go. Low energy is a good way to describe it. But of course he hasn't fed for almost a year now.

Deployments are hard on everyone. Even vampires.


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